INTJ. Taken Submisssive. Monogamous. Feminist. Law student. Dreamer. Slytherin. Pole dancer. Martial artist.
I wasn’t aware I was such a huge burden on my own Dom.
I already provide my own aftercare and train myself. What more can I do?
Book Ron was an interesting, attractive and relatable character, and I feel that the movies really unfairly relegated him to the position of comic relief. The dynamics of the trio had to be simplified into hero + heroine + mascot, and that robbed us of a truly fascinating character. So here are a few things you should remember:
1. He really is poor and it matters. HP may have huge issues when it comes to representations of race and sexuality, but deserves a round of applause for having a character come from a low-income background, with the fact of their poverty not glossed over but made into a plot point. JKR is really consistent about this – about the things Ron eats and wears and buys and doesn’t buy, the way he reacts when Harry unwittingly flaunts his own wealth. Poorer kids who have to go without brand name clothes will see themselves in Ron, and richer kids will learn that poverty isn’t something you deserve. Kids who empathize with Ron because he can’t afford to replace a broken wand are less likely to grow up to be assholes who complain about the extravagant lifestyle of people on welfare.
2. He has knowledge about the world. Out of the trio, he is the only real insider in wizarding society. Hermione is the one who knows magical theory and basically everything that can be found in a library. But when it comes to wizarding society and all of its habits, rules and unspoken assumptions, he is the one who can fill the other two in. Throughout the course of the septology, he does almost as much exposition as Hermione.
3. He is actually quite intelligent. Despite what the movies would have you believe, he is not dumb. He is mediocre in most of his schoolwork, and lacks Hermione’s booksmarts, but he is an excellent chess player, meaning he possesses good strategic abilities. He is the one who keeps a calm head while throttled by Devil’s Snare, and he talks Hermione through saving both their lives. He has decent observational skills, after all he was to one to spot inconsistencies in Hermione’s third-year time table. Seeing his common sense and social insight as less valuable than Hermione’s academic knowledge betrays an inherently flawed definition of intelligence. (Especially since academic knowledge tends to be gendered as male, and social knowledge as female, think of Poirot and Miss Marple.)
4. He is loyal. He is the embodiment of loyalty. The movies erase some of the most poignant moments proving this, and hand some of them over to Hermione. But it is Ron who stands in front of Harry, daring Sirius Black to kill them both, despite his broken leg. It is Ron who repeatedly defies Malfoy and even Snape to protect Hermione from verbal abuse. When his mother believes tabloid lies about Hermione, he takes Hermione’s side. When his brother tells him to stop being friends with Harry because of the political risk, he is so furious at the suggestion that he tears up the letter. He is unthinkingly loyal to his friends, this is why it is such a big deal that he leaves in the seventh book – because it contradicts who he really is.
5. He is genuinely funny. In the movies we are more likely to laugh at Ron than laugh with him, and the jokes he makes tend to be somewhat juvenile. But in the books his sense of humour evolves with him and with the reader, leading to this dry, snarky, irreverent tone that is genuinely very enjoyable. Ron is fun to read, and he sounds like someone who would be lots of fun to be around. He jokes a lot, but it is rarely spiteful, and often meant to comfort or distract someone – a proof of emotional intelligence.
6. He is kind. I don’t really how to put this, other than the fact that if Ron was a girl, he would be immediately defined as a caretaker. He stays in Hogwarts over Christmas so that Harry doesn’t have to be alone. He often acts oblivious and selfish on the surface, but ultimately he really obviously pays attention to the wellbeing of his friends. From his words and actions and body-language we can piece together the sort of person who can make life suck less just by showing up, who is always there for his friends even if he cannot do anything specific to help.
7. He has a huge inferiority complex. The movies hardly touch on it but in the books it is his main character arc. He feels inferior to his brothers’ achievements, to Harry’s chosen status, to Hermione’s intelligence. It is explicitly stated in book four that he doesn’t understand how can someone not want to be chosen. The books are far more clear in implying that he gets together with Lavander because he’s insecure about romance. The Horcrux doesn’t get to him through his love for Hermione like it does in the movie, it gets to him through the nagging suspicion that he has never been good enough for anything or anyone ever, including Hermione. And the movie laughed off the scene after the destruction of the Horcrux, when Harry finally gets how much Ron suffered of this fear of being second best and Ron gets that Harry never chose to be chosen. But fear of being inadequate is the primary driving force of Ron throughout the septology, and the movie fails to see value in Ron just as Ron fails to see value in himself: his caring, his loyalty, his wealth of non-academic knowledge and his awesome sense of humour are not tangible achievements, and they are not something somebody notices about themselves.
Movie Ron is the person book Ron is afraid of being in his lowest moments, an incompetent oaf who makes rude jokes and chews with his mouth open, somebody their friends only keep around out of pity and habit, somebody Hermione would have to settle for out of a lack of better options. But book Ron, for all his flaws, is a loyal, funny and warm person with many valuable practical skills. Also: I can imagine Hermione regularly thanking her lucky stars for ending up with someone as amazing as him.
i wish more people said that being single is normal
and you’re not going to meet and marry someone
and that’s fine
and if marriage happens, it happens. and it’s not the next big ticket to check off in life’s checklist
because not everyone meets someone they want to marry. and that’s normal
you’re not broken or unfulfilled if you are single
this is fucking thought provoking
No it’s not. It obvious that we’ll be able to name these logos because they have very distinctive shapes and we see them and hear about them all the time.
Those plants, on the other hand, are not even detailed enough for anyone to ID, not even people who specialize in botany.
One of these two things is very general and intended to be recognized, while the other is something that requires knowledge in ONE specific field to recognize and they are not even drawn well enough to identify in the first place.
I understand the point, but I disagree with this particular example.
EXACTLY. Some of these plants can be guessed by their specific characteristics (spruce, though we don’t know what kind; large-tooth aspen; oak leaf, though the shape could be variable between species - I’m rusty), but the first could MAYBE be a maple, and the second could MAYBE be an ash, but YOU CAN’T ID IT UNLESS YOU HAVE AT LEAST A SECTION OF A BRANCH TO KNOW IF IT’S ALTERNATE OR OPPOSITE.
AND THAT LAST LEAF?????? ITS A GODDAMN LEAF, IT’S NOT EVEN IDENTIFIABLE JFC.
STOP SPREADING THIS, IT’S STUPID AND YOU CAN LEARN TREES WITH FRIGGIN FARRAR’S ID BOOK.
STOP SPREADING THIS CRAP
-tomy: The surgeon cut something.
-ectomy: The surgeon cut something out.
-ostomy: The surgeon cut something to make a mouth. If one organ is named, the mouth opened to the outside of the patient. If two organs are named, the mouth connected two organs.
-plasty: The surgeon changed the shape of an organ.
-pexy: The surgeon moved the organ to the right place.
-rraphy: The surgeon sewed something up.
-desis: The surgeon made two things stick to one another.
israel bombed gaza’s zoo today. no, hamas wasn’t there.
israel has bombed hospitals. no, hamas wasn’t there.
israel has bombed schools. no, hamas wasn’t there.
israel has bombed apartments, homes, and the streets. israel has bombed the beaches. israel has put out snipers to shoot at fleeing women and children and men.
israel is an apartheid state.
hamas doesn’t exist in a vaccuum. israel created hamas. without israeli oppression and occupation and apartheid, there would be no hamas.
wonder woman wouldn’t stand for any of this shit. you are not right, gal gadot, and israel. you are not right, and you will not overcome. you will never overcome.
I would say don’t dive into it, instead, work your way into it. Years ago, my Daddy made a great analogy when I started my journey:
Remember when I compared your training to slowly submerging you in a pool while holding your hand?
Well to an untrained, newbie sub, the lifestyle is foreign domain, something akin to a pool of murky water. It takes courage to dip even a toe into it.
Then eventually, they work up the courage and take their first dive. Or well, they try to float on the surface, not yet knowing how to swim.
Then they sink deeper bit by bit, but the feeling of “alienness” remains. It’s still a world that one can dive into but not remain indefinitely. Something to emerge from every now and then for a breath of familiar air.
When it comes to the lifestyle, do your homework and read up on topics that interest you or you’re curious about. I recommend these links:
Both links include great articles to read.
When it comes to sex, only do what you’re comfortable with. Don’t be afraid to experiment either. I’m going to assume that you masturbate, but if you don’t, get to know your body. Find out what feels good and what doesn’t. I’ve read that a lot of women can’t get off just from vaginal penetration, so don’t feel bad if you don’t reach an orgasm during masturbation or your first time having sex. For example, I have to play with my clit a lot before my body is worked up enough to take my toys. Even then, I tend to still rub my clit while using the toy because the sensation enhances the pleasure.
Can we just stop and talk about this for a minute?
Thresh doesn’t make an alliance. Thresh doesn’t waste time liking her. Thresh knows that either he must kill her or she must kill him for one of them to win.
But this is the only way he can repay her for protecting Rue when he couldn’t. It’s the only way he can repay her for honoring Rue when he couldn’t. He honors her by sparing her friend, the girl who would have died for her.
The revolution really doesn’t start with Katniss.
It starts with Rue.
SOMEBODY FINALLY SAID IT
This is exactly the point I’ve been trying to make for years. Okay, so the revolution gets it’s kindling with Katniss. She volunteers, well that’s new, she rebels in the display of talents by shooting the apple. This triggers her perfect score, okay. These aren’t really “Revolutionary” though.
It’s not even revolutionary when Peeta professes his love, because, let’s face it, the rules of the game haven’t changed. They’re still just two kids who would have to KILL each other to win. Without a doubt, it would bring some interest to the games, so the Capitol makes propaganda about it. The “Star Crossed Lovers” in a game of life and death.
But what changes the game is Rue. Right away from her introduction in the books we know Rue is going to be somewhat of a big deal. She was compared to the most important character to Katniss, Prim, so that’s a huge indicator. She’s small, young, she’s what Prim would have been.
So Katniss instantly feels a subconscious pull toward her.
When they meet in the trees, Katniss could have killed Rue easily, and Rue probably could have pulled a sneak attack or alerted the Careers of Katniss’s presence. Instead, Rue points out the Tracker Jacker nest.
Then it escalates, Rue and Katniss become an odd team, they’re an alliance, which is never new in the Hunger Games, as forming teams and then betraying them at the end seems to be a common, but there’s is different. It’s close, it’s sisterly, protective.
And then Rue get’s impaled. Katniss kills her first tribute with ease after that. Comparing it to hunting game. Katniss holds Rue, she cries, and then she sings. She sings for Rue a song of promised safety and warmth, something completely absent in the arena.
And this is where the metaphorical canon fires. Katniss could have left Rue, the hovercraft would have been along to pick her up, but she can’t. She’s morally obligated to love this girl as much as possible. And this is where the revolution starts.
She honors the dead. She honors a dead tribute from a district she’d never seen, a person she’d known for only a short period of time. But she throws away Hunger Games norms. She rejects them completely.
In the Hunger Games you’re supposed to kill mercilessly and leave the victims for the plain box they’re shipped home in.
Katniss gives Rue a funeral in the Games, she decorates the body, she makes it look like Rue is sleeping. Like no harm had come. Katniss just ignited the coals that Rue had placed.
Rue’s District sends a parachute. Homemade bread.
Then Thresh kills Clove and distracts Cato by taking his bag.
The fire is going now, and the actions in Catching Fire are even more obvious.
The Speech for Rue. Peeta’s painting. Everything eludes back to this one little girl who became Katniss’s family.
So the revolution never started with Katniss, she was just the tinder for Rue’s ignition.
Rue was the real Mockingjay.
Also, who’s four note whistle is constantly attached to the trailers?
Rue is omnipresent in the books and movies, and I absolutely love it.
The rebellion was started because the innocence of a black girl was defiled.
That is a powerful statement that a lot of people gloss over for this book
Contrary to popular belief, a Daddy/Mommy is like any other Dom/Domme. While their roles might be slightly different from Masters/Mistresses, their goals for the submissive are very similar in terms of growth and guidance. There’s a popular belief that Masters/Mistresses are not and cannot be loving a gentle like Daddies/Mommies and I have to admit that I’m guilty of believing this in the beginning of my journey.This is the truth:
Diagram taken from Romantic-ds.
What qualities make a good Dom/Domme?
A good Dom/Domme…
- Should be educated in the lifestyle and their interests (especially if sadomasichism is involved). This means that before owning anyone or participating ina nything, they should be reading up a lot on D/s dynamics, power exchanges, and even saefty. There’s no shame in asking questions or attending classes on safety regarding bondage or impact play. Remember that your journey with your submissive is endless learning for both of you and things will need to be adjusted overtime. Knowledge is power.
- Should respect limits, safewords, and be courteous of consent (or lack there of). Don’t be this guy, this is exactly what an abuser looks like. BDSM is all about, “Safe, sane, and consensual”. Print out or create limit checklists. Here are some examples to consider: 1, 2. Both of you should fill them out and then discuss them afterwards.
No will be your hard limits. This means that no matter the circumstance or person, you are not interested in these in any way.
Maybe will be things that you’d consider in the future given the right training, person, or circumstance. For example, you could be interested in suspension bondage but you and your Daddy lack the proper knowledge to tie sturdy knots and know how to make sure you’re safe. Or if your Daddy is interested in anal sex and you’re scared but willing to try it out in the future, then that requires you to overcome the fear and begin anal training with small butt plugs and move on to gradually larger ones.
Yes will be things that you both are interested in and you have no second thoughts about.
- Should realize that D/s is not about being a control freak. While a Dom/Domme can own someone and have a TPE with them, the dynamic is not about simply bossing around. There is a difference between Dominating and controlling in an abusive way. Remember that the amount of control between you and your submissive is discussed and agreed upon by both of you.
- Being a Dom is also not about getting your dick sucked or fucking someone whenever you please; see #DDlg tag on Tumblr and check out those Kik Daddies. If you think that’s what it’s about then stick to your BDSM porn and your hand or roleplay online.
- Should think of their sub’s well being. Ownership is exactly what it sounds like and if you choose to own someone, it’s a huge responsibility.
- Does not need to use manipulation or scare tactics to make someone submit. Submission is a gift and is earned, it’s not forced. If you need to force yourself on someone else or use threats then you’re clearly not ready to be a Dom/Domme.
- Does not lie. D/s is all about trust. How can you expect to gain someone’s trust if you can’t even be honest?
- Has realistic expectations.
- Knows the difference between fantasy and what’s possible in real life.
- Is Understanding.
- Understands subdrop and how to provide aftercare.
- Knows the difference between punishment and abuse.
- Does not let their anger decide on the punishment.
So what about Daddies and Mommies?
Like I mentioned above, the roles of a Daddy/Mommy and other Doms/Dommes is a little different. Romantic-ds, again, puts it excellently:Littles (in the D/s sense) are a type of submissive. What makes them different from other submissives is that they tend to be ‘younger’ mentally, which is why they are looking for a very fatherly/motherly, softer Dominant. This is probably also why a lot of them are a bit childlike, why they prefer cute childish things and are into age play.
So as you can see, because of this, Daddies and Mommies cater to a bit more that Masters would have to. There is both an inner child and a big that needs to be dealt with in littles.
A good Daddy/Mommy…
- Should understand their little’s interests and needs. Be aware of what their little side needs. Maybe it’s extra cuddles, or a little date, etc.
- Should not belittle their little because of their younger interests. Your job is to help embrace their inner child and make them feel safe in little space. There is no need to shame them for having an interest in coloring or likes to collect plushies.
- Does not message owned littles and provoke them. Respect ownership, you are not only insulting the little but the Daddy as well. A submissive does not stop, drop, and roll at whatever new guy comes along and orders them to do so.
- Provides reasonable rules that make the little happy and ensure their safety.
- Does not need to flaunt their fantasies on every picture they reblog. Posting, “Mmm Daddy would love to spank your ass bright red,” does not impress me much.
- Does not overspoil their little. You do not need to overspoil your little, this can create behavioral problems and entitlement in the future, just like it does with real children. If your little demands a reward for every little good thing that they do, it gives the impression that you’ve lost control and that they hold control over you (and this is a form of manipulation).
- Does not force their little to regress to an age that they’re not comfortable with.
I realize that I’ve referenced and addressed a lot of issues that are seen commonly on Tumblr by so-called Doms and Daddies, but understand that these people are real and think highly of themselves.