Felix Cane pole grooves workshop in KL.
INTJ. Taken Submisssive. Monogamous. Feminist. Law student. Dreamer. Slytherin. Pole dancer. Martial artist.
Contains a little bit of NSFW, mostly BDSM and DDlg.
Felix Cane pole grooves workshop in KL.
My Least Favorite Trope (and this post will include spoilers for The Lego Movie, Guardians of the Galaxy, The Matrix, Western Civilization, and—cod help me—Bulletproof Monk*.) is the thing where there’s an awesome, smart, wonderful, powerful female character who by all rights ought to be the Chosen One and the hero of the movie, who is tasked with taking care of some generally ineffectual male character who is, for reasons of wish fulfillment, actually the person the film focuses on. She mentors him, she teaches him, and she inevitably becomes his girlfriend… and he gets the job she wanted: he gets to be the Chosen One even though she’s obviously far more qualified. And all he has to do to get it and deserve it is Man Up and Take Responsibility.
And that’s it. Every god-damned time. The mere fact of naming the films above and naming the trope gives away the entire plot and character arc of every single movie.
”she’s just experimenting” ”it’s a phase” ”she’s confused” ”can I watch?” ”can I join?” ”you’re a lesbian? that’s hot” *continues to hit on you* ”you’re bi? wanna threesome?” ”lesbian sex doesn’t count” ”girls only do it for boys attention” ”she just needs to find the right man” ”I can change your mind” ”if you use dildos that means you really just want dick”
samsriot replied to your post “I think the only way to avoid having sex with people (which is like, a…”What’s your advice for someone who gets none? (Like no sex at all.)
Well, if you really want to get laid, wear a killer outfit, something that doesn’t just look good, something that makes you feel sexy. Wear heels if that helps — they almost always make me feel sexier, even if they hurt like a motherfucker after a few hours. (I keep a pair of ballet flats in my purse for that very reason.) Have a drink or two to loosen up. (I am a terrible person to ask advice from because my solutions all involve alcohol.) Don’t drink too much, you’ll get sloppy, don’t drink at all if you can’t handle your liquor or don’t know when to stop, but you def want to lower your inhibitions somehow. Idk what that means for you. Maybe go for a run before you go out so you’re pumping endorphins. Whatever. There are tons of ways to loosen up.
(Also, and this is important — don’t fuck drunk. It’s something we all do, it’s incredibly common, and it’s never going to work out in your favor. You’re probably going to do it once or twice. Don’t beat yourself up over it, but definitely try to avoid landing yourself in this situation. Your judgment is compromised. And there’s no point, in any case — sex is numbed under the influence of alcohol. Unless you’re a superhero, you won’t be able to come or come close to coming. Alcohol dehydrates you, so you’re in for a dry vag situation, if you have a vagina.
Oh, and never have sex with someone who is significantly inebriated. because they can’t consent, and that’s rape. Use your judgement.)
And then just talk to people. Smile a lot. You can communicate a lot through body language. Maybe touch someone gently if the mood feels right. Listen to what they’re saying, like, actually listen. Don’t just pretend to listen. Be funny. Be charming. Be a big giant dork, if that’s your thing — it can be endearing to the right person. Ask for numbers. Try out various things — you’ll get the hang of it eventually. After your first couple conversations, it’ll become easier and easier to do.
And don’t be afraid to flirt? Worst thing that can happen is that they tell you they’re not interested, and who the fuck cares, honestly — there are more fish in the sea. It’ll be embarrassing for like, two seconds and then the moment’s done. Most likely, the person letting you down doesn’t want you to feel bad, that’s the last thing they want, so don’t beat yourself up thinking you’re doing the other person a favor.
Look, everything in life is a collection of wins and losses. If you have a bad experience, chalk it up to being a loss. Losses aren’t the biggest deal in the world, because sooner or later, a win is going to come along and kick that loss’s ass. Or something. Point is, if things are terrible now, they won’t always be terrible.
But if they say no, back the fuck off immediately and move onto the next one. You don’t want to be someone’s horror story on the internet.
Idk if you’re into dudes, but they’re definitely the easiest to bag, so going for them usually works out. Just a tip. I have no idea how to get into bed with women. All I know is that they’re generally a lot harder.
If you get a number, wait a day and call ‘em. Unless the vibe is right and they were being extra flirty, call ‘em like, an hour after for a booty call. Aw hell, just follow your gut. Your gut will mess up a few times, but you’ll get the hang of it eventually.
Remember to use condoms. Have safe sex. Don’t have sex with someone who seems like an asshole just because you feel like you should have sex. If someone pulls your head down like they’re expecting a blowjob from you, and you don’t want to give one, don’t fucking do it. Tell ‘em “no” if you need to. If someone expects oral from you and isn’t willing to give it back, then leave, because that shit is not worth your time. You are valuable; you want to be with someone who treats you as such. Don’t fake an orgasm, if it’s not working for you, don’t be afraid to tell your partner it’s not working. Tell them what works for you. (Masturbate so you actually know what works for you.) Don’t feel bad if what you’re doing doesn’t work for your partner. Ask how to do it so that it works for them. If they belittle you in any way for not “getting it right” on the first try, walk the fuck away, because you’re amazing and you don’t deserve to be talked down to like that. If at any point in time you feel like you want to stop, tell your partner you want to stop. If they’re decent, they’ll stop.
Most of all —- don’t have sex just because you feel like you should have sex. Do it from a place of love. I’m not talking about love for the other person, you can clearly fuck someone you don’t love, and there’s nothing wrong with that — I mean out of love for yourself. This is a celebration of bodies, this is showing what your body can do, how much pleasure it can bring you and another person (or hell, multiple people, if you’re into that). This is free love, baby. That means it should make you feel free, not tie you down with more anxieties and problems.
If you’re doing it to prove something to yourself or because you think you need to lose your virginity or because you think this is the best way to get emotional comfort or because you’re just so shocked someone is paying attention to you or because you think it’ll make you a more confident person, don’t do it.
The only reason, and I mean the *ONLY* reason to have sex is because you genuinely want to have a good time with someone else. And you’re doing it for you, not for anyone else.
You shouldn’t feel shitty about yourself the next day, because sex is nothing to feel bad about. You should go into it with clear eyes — a hook-up doesn’t mean obligation, and the only thing you’re entitled to is respect and honesty, not commitment from the other person. Of course, it might turn into something like that later; but don’t count on it.
If you get attached easily or don’t think you can separate sex from romance that well, then don’t bother with any of this — one night stands are probably not for you.
Hope this helps.